I’m writing this, right here, so i know where to pick it up next time i get the same issue. Thanks to Jonathan, who wrote this awesome post, and saved me quite a lot of time.
Long short story, it seems there is a buggy library on OSX, that produces broken SSL connections to hang for quite some time. Workaround?
sudo port install neon
That should upgrade the faulty library, and fix this annoying issue.